My morning started with my adorable (hungry) little girl handing me the sweetest card. She then started to cry, because while we were celebrating mommy, baby still needed to eat! Daddy made us a delicious breakfast complete with lattes.
This was my first Mother's Day at church since losing Cara. It was a gentle ease back in. I ended up having to leave with Molly half way through the service because of her inability to settle, but it was a good time for me to reconnect with the church and my motherhood while still caring for my little one.
We went to visit Cara and that was a difficult part of the day for me. I lay one hand on the foot of my sleeping Molly and the other on the ground. Two babies connected by one mother filled with emotions and love for each.
We spent the rest of the afternoon in the backyard. My parents came from a brief visit and then A and Ra drove through town with the boys. It was a fun, whirlwind day. I was able to take a few minutes to reflect quietly as I nursed Molly in the nursery late in the afternoon. No real thoughts, just being present in my grief and not hiding from it.
The boys loved meeting Molly and she delighted in them. In fact, she hasn't been the same since they left. Mommy is clearly not cutting it on the entertainment factor. It has made me realize how much I'm missing out on not seeing my two girls interact together. It's the first time I have really felt that Molly would enjoy having a big sister and a reminder of what she doesn't yet understand, what one day we will have to explain to her.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
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