Those are buds on the Bradford Pear outside Cara's room. It means her birthday is imminent. I remember the last day she was alive sitting in the nursery looking out at the blooms, thinking any day we would be home, sitting together in that same chair nursing. I just sat there with her in my belly dreaming of what it would be like to have her in my arms.
I delivered her that week and as we drove all around from the funeral home to the cemetery, everywhere I was reminded of the life that had been growing within me days before. So here outside my window is a constant reminder of what I have lost.
The beautiful memory is that Cara was kicking while I was sitting there that day, and we taped her jumping around in my belly. That is the last video we have of her alive. I took the picture above two days after she was born, so I could remember that moment.