Friday, January 23, 2009

It's coming...

Do you see this?

Those are buds on the Bradford Pear outside Cara's room. It means her birthday is imminent. I remember the last day she was alive sitting in the nursery looking out at the blooms, thinking any day we would be home, sitting together in that same chair nursing. I just sat there with her in my belly dreaming of what it would be like to have her in my arms.

I delivered her that week and as we drove all around from the funeral home to the cemetery, everywhere I was reminded of the life that had been growing within me days before. So here outside my window is a constant reminder of what I have lost.

The beautiful memory is that Cara was kicking while I was sitting there that day, and we taped her jumping around in my belly. That is the last video we have of her alive. I took the picture above two days after she was born, so I could remember that moment.

1 comment:

Carly said...

I know how hard this is for you. I am reminded of the last days with my son when I see rose buds on our trees. He never did bloom here, but I know he is the perfect rise in Heaven now.

The two photo's with their stories are incredibly breath taking.

Sending you all my love

Carly x