March 18th

Today was as perfect as an imperfect first birthday without our baby could be. Tim and I went out to Cara's grave early and set up a little memorial for her. We spent some time alone with her talking about what this day would have been like and how we remembered her birth. We reflected at exactly 8:52 am about how she entered our world and forever changed it.

Our friends and family gathered at 9:00 for a service of remembrance. Our pastor shared several prayers and our friend C read Psalm 130 and Luke 18:15-17. Tim then read a letter he wrote to Cara (well we shared reading it because Tim was overcome with emotion). Then a few people with us shared some reflections about Cara.

Most touching to me was our pastor's reflection about communion at our church. Each week the children come bursting through the doors from children's church and race down the aisle to the table. He said after Cara died, right around Easter Sunday, he had this vision of Cara also bombarding the table with the same fervor as these young living hearts.

The rest of our day was spent gardening as planned. All I can say is we are once again overwhelmed by everyone's generosity. I did not think it was possible to recreate the same feeling that we had the week we lost Cara, but our community has once again lavished us with love. Our gardens (plural) are full because of the kindness and generosity of those around us. We are overflowing with flowers, and it was the perfect outlet for us to cultivate life back into the land.

I'll post pictures once spring is in full force and the rest of our garden blooms, but know that I spent 3 hours out there today and Tim was out there for 5. We are so blessed by all the sweet tributes to Cara. Cara's garden is almost entirely made up of gifts we received from other people, and it means so much to us to know our family and friends have created that space to remember her.