Thursday, June 11, 2009

Terrible Assumptions

This afternoon I had lunch with C, her daughter, A and son, M. As the two of us tried to manage both of them while chatting, the server walked up to talk to A. She asked who belonged with whom. C said they were both hers. The server looked at me and said, "I was trying to figure it out. You haven't wanted to give this a try yet?"

I just plastered a fake smile on my face and made a noise in my throat, all while concealing my protruding belly under the table. I suppose I do look like I'm behind the times when compared to C's two 16 months apart.

C said that was the first time she had seen one of these assumptions made and asked how I usually handle them. Thankfully the situation has not arose too much. I have only been asked once if this was my first. I mostly respond by trying not to answer directly.

I did have a situation where I felt the need to address it. A client wished me a "Happy Mother-to-be Day". I have worked closely with this client for the last several months, so I explained the situation. Thankfully she was incredibly compassionate and said she would be praying for our pregnancy.

I'm trying to learn myself to not make assumptions. I think our society is far to prone to them. I want to be open to the hurting in the world and embrace them from the start, not have them explain themselves to me.

1 comment:

Carly Marie said...

I am sorry Cynthia.

I have been asked a few things like that if I am out with out my girls.

I can't even count on both hands how many people have asked is this your first?

I tell them exactly how many I have had. 2 girls and a little boy.

I still had Christian even if he didn't stay. I let people assume he is alive still, I don't know if that is wrong or not. I just feel not right saying I have had 2 children.

People are innocent in their comments like that but boy is it hard to answer.

Sending you love xxxxx