This afternoon I had lunch with C, her daughter, A and son, M. As the two of us tried to manage both of them while chatting, the server walked up to talk to A. She asked who belonged with whom. C said they were both hers. The server looked at me and said, "I was trying to figure it out. You haven't wanted to give this a try yet?"
I just plastered a fake smile on my face and made a noise in my throat, all while concealing my protruding belly under the table. I suppose I do look like I'm behind the times when compared to C's two 16 months apart.
C said that was the first time she had seen one of these assumptions made and asked how I usually handle them. Thankfully the situation has not arose too much. I have only been asked once if this was my first. I mostly respond by trying not to answer directly.
I did have a situation where I felt the need to address it. A client wished me a "Happy Mother-to-be Day". I have worked closely with this client for the last several months, so I explained the situation. Thankfully she was incredibly compassionate and said she would be praying for our pregnancy.
I'm trying to learn myself to not make assumptions. I think our society is far to prone to them. I want to be open to the hurting in the world and embrace them from the start, not have them explain themselves to me.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
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1 comment:
I am sorry Cynthia.
I have been asked a few things like that if I am out with out my girls.
I can't even count on both hands how many people have asked is this your first?
I tell them exactly how many I have had. 2 girls and a little boy.
I still had Christian even if he didn't stay. I let people assume he is alive still, I don't know if that is wrong or not. I just feel not right saying I have had 2 children.
People are innocent in their comments like that but boy is it hard to answer.
Sending you love xxxxx
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